Man is the only living creature that can learn from the history of past generations - to avoid mistakes they made and build upon their positive accomplishments. Man is the only living thing that can reflect on the purpose of life and contemplate an ultimate goal in life. Man is the only being that can seek to improve himself voluntarily by his own efforts. (Caterpillars do improve when they become butterflies, but this is an automatic process programmed in their genes, and they do not willfully decide to become butterflies.)

Man is the only being that can think about the future consequences of his actions. Man is the only being that can delay gratification, and man is the only living thing that can make ethical and moral decisions, in defiance of bodily drives and urges.

All animal behavior is self-centered. With the exception of domesticated pets that may adopt human traits, the nature of an animal is to satisfy all its desires. An animal will not sacrifice its comfort for the benefit of another animal (except for mothers animals, which have a biological feeling for their young). The ability to put another's needs ahead of one's own is uniquely human, and is one of the important distinctions between man and animals.

The desire to have all one's needs met is self-centeredness, hence it is an animal rather than a human trait. To put it bluntly, a marriage that is predicated on having one's own needs met is essentially an animal-type relationship. If the goal is primarily one's own gratification, it stands to reason that if either partner feels that another person could do a better job at providing that gratification, the terms of the contract are void.

But a person is not an animal. A person is a mentsch (Yiddish for 'human'), who was created when G-d "blew a breath of life into him." As the Zohar says, the Torah uses this metaphor because when one exhales, he exhales something from within himself. Therefore, when G-d "blew a breath of life" into man, He put something of Himself into him. Man, therefore, has a Divine soul, and it should be beneath one's dignity to ignore the soul and behave solely based on the body's desire for gratification, which is animalistic behavior. A person must be a mentsch, who is able to sacrifice his comfort and personal needs for the benefit of others.

I once came across an article, "How Do Lobsters Grow?" Lobsters are soft animals that live inside a rigid shell. Inasmuch as the shell does not expand, how can a lobster increase its size?

The answer is that as the lobster grows, its shell becomes confining and oppressive. The lobster then retreats to an underwater rock formation where it is protected from predatory fish, sheds its shell, and produces a larger and more spacious one. Eventually, this larger shell becomes uncomfortably confining, and the lobster repeats this process several times until it reaches its maximum size.

The point to note is that the stimulus that enables the lobster to grow is discomfort. If not for the discomfort, the lobster would never expand its shell!

Science and technology have eliminated so many sources of discomfort, that our predecessors experienced that many people think there should be no discomfort in life, and if someone is uncomfortable, there must be a pill to relieve it. We seem to have lost a tolerance for discomfort, not realizing that discomfort may be a signal to us that we should grow.

If criticism makes one feel uncomfortable (as it generally does), rather than feeling resentful, one should seize the opportunity to utilize it as a stimulus for growth.

People's reaction to what they see as criticism varies. A determining factor in the reaction is the quality of one's self-esteem. A person with low self-esteem is apt to see all criticism as an insult and an affront to his dignity, and may react defensively or with self-denigration.

Spirituality requires effort, much effort. We are born into the world essentially as animal bodies with all the drives characteristic of animals. As we mature, we are supposed to develop ourselves into the dignified human beings G-d intended us to be.

Consider the Baal Shem Tov's interpretation of the verse in Genesis (1:6), "And G-d said, 'Let us make man'." The obvious question is: Whom was G-d addressing? Furthermore, G-d did not seek anyone's involvement in any other part of creation. Why was the creation of man unique in this way?

The Baal Shem Tov explained that both angels and animals are born essentially in a state of completion and do not have to transform. Our bodies have limitations, our souls do not. Souls can fuse; bodies remain distinct. To the degree that one gives emphasis to one's body, to that degree one gives emphasis to that component of our being that separates us. To the degree that one gives emphasis to the soul, to that degree one gives emphasis to that component of our being that binds us.