The spiritual master Rabbi Nachman of Breslov once remarked that people usually leave a wedding remarking about all the beautiful things they saw.

One guest remarks, "The food was out of this world." Another says, "I loved the music." A third guest enthuses, "Did you see the wedding gown? Did you smell those flowers"?

These people were not really present at the wedding.

One man walks out and says, "Thank G-d, those two got together!" This man was present at the wedding!

So, how many of us will truly be present at the Seder?

The Seder Energy

Commemorating our exodus from Egypt, Passover reflects the liberation of the soul from the psychological and emotional constraints represented by "Egypt."

The Hebrew term for Egypt (Mitzrayim) may translate as "inhibitions," or "restrictions." We all struggle with inner and outer inhibitions that stifle our growth and prevent us from maximizing our potential. We may be paralyzed by fear, shame, guilt, resentment and addictions. We may lack the ability to love, to dream, to cry and to let go of our defenses, or we may be enslaved by unhealthy urges and feelings of envy, animosity and bitterness. In this sense, we are all in one or another type of "Egypt," and the Seder presents each of us with an opportunity to leave our personal Egypt and move toward redemption. We open our hearts and welcome into our lives the divine energy of liberation.

Go Home

The liberation process begins by searching our home thoroughly the night before Pesach, known as "Bedikas chamatz." To live a fulfilled and serene life, we must stop putting the blame on others and clean up the mess in our own home. Our parents, spouses, employers, siblings or neighbors ultimately do not hold power over our lives. If I am healthy inside, the most obnoxious person cannot tick me off. If I am unhealthy inside, the slightest mistake of a fellow man throws me into rage. We begin our healing process by putting our house in order, to examine, search and clean our homes and hearts by the gentle flame of the soul.

The Spiritual Trio

Consuming matzah, eating maror and drinking wine are the three primary mitzvos of the Seder night. Matzah represents the energy of surrender; maror, the process of grieving; and wine, the feeling of joy. Surrendering the ego (the matzah made of dough that did not rise), grieving over a wounded past (the bitter taste of the maror), and experiencing inner joy for the divine gift of recovery (represented by wine) are three primary steps in our journey toward liberation from personal bondage.

Reclaiming Our Parents

The Talmud says, and it's quoted in the Haggadah instructions, that "A second cup is poured, and here the child asks 'Mah Nishtanah.'" The words "now the child asks" ("V'kan Haben Shoel") may also be translated as "now the child may borrow." Not all of us were privileged to grow up with parents. Some were orphaned at a young age; others had physical parents but not emotional parents. Some of us were privileged to have nurturing parents who have passed on. In all of the above cases the children are left with a void.

At the Seder "the child may borrow" a father and a mother. At this time, our Father in heaven opens the chamber of unconditional love and boundless nurture,through which we may reclaim the confidence and security we need. Now we have permission to ask the questions we could never ask, and declare: "Father, I want to ask you four questions."

The Four Worlds

The Seder experience revolves around the number four. We drink four cups of wine, we ask four questions and we address four sons. The Kabbalists discuss these three pairs of four as corresponding to the four cosmic worlds: the world of vision, the world of creation, the world of formation and the world of action.

Liberation can be achieved only when we introduce into our daily lives the following four components:

A) Vision: A vision of who we are and what we want to make of ourselves;

B) Goals: Once we establish our vision, we must make goals based on that vision;

C) Schedules: Once we've created the goals, we must formulate a schedule as to how and when the goals will be achieved;

D) Implementation: Once we have formatted the detailed schedule we must "get down on our knees" and do the job.

Many of us don't have freedom in our lives because we are missing one or more of the "four worlds." Our daily goals, schedules and deeds may lack a vision, or our inner vision may be detached from our daily behavior.

Show me a man who has all these "four worlds" in place and I'll show you a liberated man.

(Based on the teachings of Chassidic Masters)